Ready to Kick Narcissistic Abuse to the Curb?

And talking to him only kept me holding on to hope.

I just couldn’t understand how loving him felt so punishing at the same time. 

Months of feeling stuck and longing to feel “normal” again left me wondering:

How was I still suffering from this breakup?

I’d been dumped loads before (that sounds like an odd brag but it really isn’t)! So I didn’t know why this one was effecting me any different.

I was even doing all the things you’re supposed to do to feel better:

Running, smoking ciggies, putting myself out there, getting advice from friends.

But nothing was working.

Sleep offered some form of escape (as long as I didn’t dream about him).

But as soon as I’d wake up, I’d remember the bad thing and I’d drop back into my depressed state again.

And this loop felt endless and exhausting. All I wanted was to be ‘me’ again —whoever that was.

Lost with what to do next, I turned to my friend Rach – who conveniently leant me the book ‘Reasons to Stay Alive’ by Matt Haig!

‘You oughtta look up the word narcissist, sounds like you were with one’.

WTF is a narcissist I thought? With no idea how much weight that word would carry later…

But trawling the internet didn’t exactly give me any answers. All the information just overwhelmed me and made me feel even more confused. 

And it still wasn’t enough to explain why I was so depressed.

So after some painful procrastinating – we’re talking MONTHS after my break up – I finally took the leap to see a therapist.

And that’s when things got worse (before they got better)…

Ever heard of narcissistic abuse? Betrayal trauma? Or complex PTSD?

I hadn’t either, despite my best efforts of Googling!

Turns out my ex wasn’t who he claimed to be and had cheated on me a bunch too.

So I had to accept this new reality I came to learn.

But at least it helped me to understand the crying, the obsessive ruminating, the constant flashbacks and the zero self-esteem.

And I finally understood why love got Beyoncé looking so crazy right now!

So with those new pieces to the puzzle, I felt like I had a much clearer picture of things. 

I knew what I was working with now; I just had to fix it.

You see…

From all my learning, therapy and talking to others, I’ve come to realise that there’s five core things to healing from narcissistic abuse.

And when I followed these five things, I started to feel like myself again. 

But like this new and improved version that wasn’t afraid of life anymore.

Confident, independent and thriving I’d say!

I even met the love of my life, got over my trust issues AND learnt what a healthy and committed relationship actually looks like.

And I know what you’re thinking…

🙋‍♀️ I want all those things too!!

And you will because I’ll teach you how.

You just need to add a pinch of S-A-L-L-T to your life 😉

In other words…

Those five letters conveniently stand for the five steps you need to take to heal, which are:

S – STOP contact with your narcissist and stay single to keep yourself safe.

A – ACCEPT your relationship was abusive. And be aware of the harmful patterns.

L – LEARN from what happened, what your part in it was and let go of any hope they’ll change.

L – LOOK after yourself physically and mentally.

T – TALK about it and process everything you’ve learnt.

They’re your blueprint to healing. 

And you’ll find that everyone who’s healed from narcissistic abuse has applied these same principles, one way or another.

It’s also what you need to follow if you want to take your power back and start moving forward with your life again.

Because I know after reading tonnes of books, taking a couple of info courses (a breath course and Somatic EMDR course). Listening to HOURS of audio about narc abuse – add to that all the internet research I’ve done – as well as spending hundreds of dollars on therapy – I know it’s not just one thing that works. 

It’s a combination of things.

So what I share on here comes from real, personal experience and proven success.

And what makes me different is that I’m not here to sell you a dream. I’m here to share the reality of what actually works. 

And those five steps above, are the ones that’ll help you break free from your ex and build a thriving future.

Which is exactly what I help survivors with in my one on one sessions. 

So if you’re ready to work with me…

…and by ready I mean: you’re committed and determined to doing the work to heal…

Then we can do a FREE 30 minute discovery call and I can lay out the S.A.L.L.T method for you.

All you need to do is:

(Don’t worry, it won’t take you long —1 of the 4 questions is: ‘what’s your name?’ 😅)!

And i’ll get back to you to see if we’re a great fit.