Remember These Things When Blocking A Narcissist: 6 Reasons To Help You Block Them

Blocking a narcissist is the easy bit; staying no contact is harder.

But blocking does help you get there… eventually.

So, if you find yourself staring at your phone. And you’re wondering whether you should – this one’s for you.

How to block a narcissist

Blocking a narcissist is an act of self-love. If someone’s toxicity is seeping into your life, it’s time to hit that block button. 

Protect your space like it’s your sanctuary, because guess what? It is! It’s not about being mean and punishing them; it’s about prioritising your well-being. You’re stopping them from contacting you as you know it’s not healthy for you.

Blocking a narcissist is communicating a boundary. It’s saying “I value my mental health and happiness. And I won’t allow you to disrupt that”. So you’re protecting yourself by taking control and not allowing them access to you.

And P.S:

You don’t need to tell them you’re doing it. 

No, no, no!

Please don’t go down that path, cos’ you’re only inviting them to say “game on”. 

Revealing what you’re going to do is like telling someone you’re throwing them a surprise party!

And you wouldn’t do that because it would lose its effect, right?

Keeping your intentions private is protecting your peace. Because it’s not giving the narcissist a chance to manipulate the situation. 

You’re doing it quietly, with grace, and without unnecessary drama. So, let your actions speak louder than words and safeguard your wellbeing instead.

Blocking a narcissist on everything

Once you’ve made the decision of blocking a narcissist on everything, think of it as a ‘No ⛔️ Entry’ sign around your life. It’s your way of taking control and deciding who gets access to you.

Your mental health and happiness are your top priority, and that’s reason enough. So clicking that button liberates you from their manipulation. It’s putting you first.

Should you block a narcissist?

It really boils down to one question: what’s best for you?

But if you can block them, block them. You want to cut the line of communication between you. And stop them from interfering with your life.

When you’re in a narcissistic relationship, you know how it goes. It’s constantly back and forth and you’re never happy for too long. The narcissist’s always trying to wear you down and get a reaction out of you.

So what blocking does, is it puts an end to that cycle. It prevents them from being able to hoover you back into their mind games. Because you don’t give them a chance to convince you to go back to them.

Blocking a narcissist is like saying no to them – but without actually telling them. And that’s what you’ve been wrestling with. You haven’t been able to find the right way to express your boundaries because narcissists aren’t rational people!

Should you block them if you have kids?

When you have kids, it’s going to be a different story. You’re not going to be able to block your baby daddy on everything!

But you can streamline your communication to one platform. So you don’t need to keep them on your Facebook and Instagram as well. You could even have a separate phone number just for them.

There’s also handy co-parenting apps like OurFamilyWizard or Talking Parents. They’re not only great for keeping a record for legal purposes. But they also help to keep things amicable between you.

You want to aim for minimal contact when you have kids. So keep things light and basic and just about the kids. 

Try and remember that they’re already dealing with their parents being apart. So you don’t want to add to their load by having petty arguments in front of them with your ex-partner!

At least be the parent that’s setting a good example – even if your ex isn’t. That way your kids are still seeing some healthy communication.

But can’t you just ignore them?

Think of it this way:

If you leave your front door ajar, anyone can walk into your house. But if you close it and lock it, you decide who can come in.

And when you leave or break up with a narcissist, they’re coming for you. They’re going to do what they can to reap back the control from you.

Equally if they discard you – but decide they want you back – they’re going to do what they can to win you back. They’ll try and contact you any way possible.

So blocking a narcissist has a greater effect than just ignoring them. Because ignoring them means you’re still seeing their efforts to contact you. And it’s sending them the message that there’s still a chance. It’s telling them you’re still paying attention to what they have to say; it’s leaving the door unlocked.

In their mind they’re thinking:

– If you’re still reading my messages,
– If my calls are still going through,
– If my emails aren’t bouncing,
– If I can like and comment on your pictures on Instagram, or see your stories – then I’ve still got that hold over you.

So those are signs that show the narcissist you still have your door open to them. It makes them think “yeah they might be ignoring me, but I know they’re still seeing me”.

But if you block them instead, there’s no mixed messages. It’s clear cut what you’re meaning.

Here’s why you should block a narcissist

Blocking a narcissist is part of going no contact. It’s supposed to train you to get to the point where you no longer let them affect your life. So you’re allowing yourself time away from them to grieve the damage they’ve done.

Removing their influence over you is the only way you’ll heal. And it’s also the only way you can take control over the situation.

A narcissist thrives on manipulation and drama. And they’re relentless in their pursuit to create chaos and confusion. But by blocking them, you’re protecting yourself from letting that happen. You’re basically practicing no contact and building the strength to say no to them.

Because when you get to that stage, you’ll feel indifferent to them. And they’ll no longer have that power over you. So that whole saga of you leaving and them pulling you back in again, that can stop too.

It helps break your trauma bond

Breaking your trauma bond is a really hard thing to do. And when you first block them it feels like your heart’s being ripped out of your chest. None of it feels natural, despite the relationship being unhealthy for you.

And when you’re trauma bonded, your mind is very good at convincing you to go back to them. So anything that threatens you getting back together is rationalised away.

And that’s because it feels too painful to deal with the possibility of being without them. So you don’t allow yourself to see the full picture because you’re scared you won’t cope with the outcome.

So you need to have awareness around the story you’ve been telling yourself. Because you’re holding back from the truth as it’s too life changing to accept.

So grab a piece of paper, write out what they did to you and write out how bad they made you feel. And learn the reality so you can understand why you’re blocking them.

You need these reminders for when you feel guilty. Because when you set a strict boundary (which you’re not used to doing) it makes you doubt yourself. You’ll feel guilty for doing that to them and they’ll be waiting to exploit that. That’s the emotion they’re riding on for hoovering you back in.

And once you understand the intricacies of it all, it helps you make sense of the why. So blocking them helps prevent the cycle from continuing. The more you practice it and keep trying, the easier it’ll get.

What does blocking a narcissist do?

Blocking a narcissist marks the closing of that chapter in your life. It means you’ve reached a place of acceptance. You finally see the toxicity of the relationship and you’ve accepted it has to end.

1. Stops wasting more of your time

Getting to that point can take a few tries. Because admitting it’s time to move on can be super tough. Especially when you’ve invested so much time and emotion into the relationship. You might even feel like it was all just a big waste of your time.

But you know what? 

When you hit that block button, you’re stopping the clock on wasting any more of your precious time. After all the ups and downs, you’ve learned that nothing’s changing. And you know that there’s no amount of effort that’ll make it better.

Blocking them is your way of taking back control. It’s a fresh start, a chance to invest your time and energy into things and people that actually uplift you. 

2. Makes you feel better

You no longer have their negative energy seeping into your life. 

It’s so exhausting dealing with a narcissist. And when you block them, you don’t have to deal with that anymore.

3. Gives you more time for yourself

Now you’re not pouring all your energy into them, you can actually focus on yourself. You can start practicing putting your needs and wants first – something you’ve probably neglected for a while.

4. Prevents manipulation

Narcissists thrive on controlling and gaslighting you. So when they can’t reach you, they can’t dictate what you do. 

5. Promotes healing

When they’re influencing your life, you won’t heal. You need time and space away from them to process everything. Narcissists want to keep you small and not let you grow, so you need to be away from them to flourish.

6. Maintains boundaries 

You’re practicing self discipline and saying no to them. So blocking helps because it’s a firm boundary that signals you won’t tolerate their behaviour anymore. You’re respecting your self worth and know that you deserve better.

Remember, blocking a narcissist doesn’t make you a horrible person. It’s just taking charge of your life and putting your needs above theres. It’s a proactive step towards a healthier, happier you.

What to expect after blocking a narcissist

It feels uncomfortable

You’ve been playing by their rules for a long time. So you’ve been doing what they want and now you’re not. And that can feel unfamiliar and uncertain because you’re not used to taking such a powerful stance. But that’s completely normal. And part of the process you have to accept and be aware of.

It’ll take practice

Some people can just block, delete and move on. But others need a bit of practice. So you might need to go through the motions of blocking and unblocking until it sticks.

But each time you give in, the gap between your attempts will hopefully get bigger. And you’ll get to that point where you’ll see that unblocking them always makes you feel worse in the end. So your desire to reach out will slowly fade too.

Anger

I felt angry for a long time. Like I really hated my ex and wished for bad things to happen to him! And that’s a common emotion a lot of survivors feel.

It’s also a great motivator for blocking them. Because why would you want to be near someone you hate!? It’s quite liberating to know you have the choice to stay away from them.

Guilt

You’ll feel guilty because it’s the first time you’ve put up a boundary with them. And historically, you’re used to doing what they want all the time.

So the moment you step away from that, guilts going to set in. Because standing up for yourself is going to feel alien to you, like you’re doing something wrong.

But that’s just your trauma bond making you feel like that. Because they’ve instilled the belief that if you don’t do what they want, then you’re punished. So you associate not doing what they want as ‘bad’ behaviour. And when you notice that, you can’t ignore it because you understand why you feel like that.

So the more you educate yourself around trauma bonded cycles, the more you’ll see where they came from. And it’ll help you take accountability over the situation and make the blocking part easier.

Grief

When these kinds of relationships end, it’s difficult to not obsess about whether any of it was real. And then that makes you doubt your perception of things.

But you can always trust your part of the story.

Because when you love someone, you believe the best in them – even when they’re being dishonest. And so their deceit doesn’t invalidate what you felt.

But it can feel like the entire thing wasn’t real. And so it feels like you’re struggling with grief. The grief of something not being real. And grief means you’re dealing with loss. And loss needs to be processed.

So when you leave a narcissistic relationship, you’re grieving what you believed was true. As well as what you hoped for, like the life you envisioned together. And when you know it’s not meant to be anymore, those thoughts make you feel empty inside.

But that hollowness isn’t a bad thing. It’s space for you to explore and try new things.

You might see them

Unfortunately, there’s no block button for not seeing them in real life. And if you live in the same town, there’s a chance you could bump into them. 

So if the very thought of seeing them makes you want to be sick and run away! Then you need to have a plan in case that happens. 

Rehearse what you want to do, or say. Even if you just want to ignore them and look the other way, get comfortable with that being a possibility. Because it’ll help you if you have to face that scenario. You’ll know what you want to do and you’ll be ready for it.

You could also do what I did, and make sure you don’t ever go anywhere alone in case you see them! It worked for me and then luckily my ex moved countries so I didn’t have to worry anymore!

What happens to a narcissist when you block them?

You have to remember that for a narcissist, you’re either a source of supply, validation, response, or something to do. So when it comes to blocking them, they’re not going to be best pleased.

After all, that’s been a decision you’ve made – not them. And they don’t like playing by other peoples rules.

But don’t let fear stop you from cutting them out. Be prepared for their reactions instead:

Frustration

Narcissists thrive on control and attention and blocking them disrupts that! So they’re bound to get rattled if they can’t reach their supply anymore. And they might look to others to see if they can get through to you.

So if you’re trying to go no contact, let your friends know you’ve blocked your narcissist. And ask them to respect that too. Tell them you don’t want to know if they try to contact you through them.

Attempts to regain control

You might’ve blocked them but it doesn’t stop them from getting creative and finding new ways to reach you. Like creating fake profiles, for example. So if you get any dodgy, new friend requests, don’t be too quick to accept them in case.

Watch out for in person hoovering too. If they know you’ve blocked them they might try and catch you in person. So it could make sense to try and keep yourself surrounded by friends and family where possible.

I was lucky enough that my ex didn’t bother me like that. Once he got the message, he left me alone – which was kinda perfect for me. I wish you the same because it’ll make things a helluva lot easier for you!

Narcissistic injury 

Aww their poor, fragile egos, breaks your heart doesn’t it? 

NOT!

At their core, a narcissist greatly lacks self esteem. Which they make up for by being such dicks, that nobody would ever suspect that! 

Well, because of that, when you block them, it can really affect their ego. They might see it as a personal attack and go to great lengths to prove they’re still in control, or worse – seek revenge. So just prep yourself for massive overreactions like dramatic ploys for attention.

Silent treatment 

Now as awful as the silent treatment is – when it follows you blocking them – it’s actually more of a blessing in disguise. Because they’re just making it easier for you to move on as they’re not making any attempt to connect with you.

So don’t pander to it and keep them blocked.

Moving on

This one’s a classic move – which if you’ve blocked them well enough – hopefully you don’t see.

Narcissists always need a supply. So if they don’t get their needs met by you, you can bet your bottom dollar they’ll go looking for it elsewhere.

This, unfortunately, is just something you have to accept. So when they move on – which they will – be prepared for it. It’ll still hurt, but remind yourself that they’re now just someone else’s problem. 

So if anything, feel sorry for their new partner. Because once the honeymoon period’s over, they’ll only be getting the same awful treatment you did.

In saying that, they might also pop back into your life again too. They’re novelty seekers, so they’re always searching for a new thrill. And they might get a kick out of trying to win you back again. It really depends on what they’re getting from their new supply. 

At the end of the day, you need to protect yourself above everything else. So try and be firm and keep them blocked. 

Does a narcissist care if you block them?

I think it’s important to know what to expect. But knowing how they’ll feel, whether they’ll care, that shouldn’t be a priority for you. 

And thinking about them is part of your problem. When you were in a relationship with them, they already took up so much mental space in your head. And you don’t want to keep letting them occupy more of it. 

So the sooner you can stop thinking about them, and start thinking about you, the better you’ll start to feel. 

Don’t be concerned about the impact you’ll have on them. And think about all the good it’s doing for you instead. 

What happens if you sneakily unblock them again?

Look, it’s bound to happen. But if you look at it this way: the more you do it, the more chaos you’ll invite back into your life. And you’ll have a limit which you’ll only be aware of the more you test it.

Because what happens, is you’ll unblock, you’ll regress and you’ll remember how unhappy they made you again. And the more times you do that, in theory, the quicker you’ll get sick of it!

But I’ll leave you with some insights to mull over:

You’re not unblocking them because you love them. You’re unblocking them because you’re still trauma bonded.

That’s what’s controlling you.

Because once you realise they’re abusive, and they’re never going to change, it bursts the bubble again.

So you need to try and apply a bit of logic to your motive behind blocking. And remember you’re doing it to help you heal. 

Here’s to your future…

So we’ve covered a lot about blocking a narcissist, haven’t we?

It’s not just a click of a button; it’s a powerful step towards your peace of mind. By setting boundaries, you’re taking control and putting your happiness ahead of theirs. You’ve got every right to live a life free from toxicity.

Blocking a narcissist isn’t just about shutting them out; it’s about letting positivity in. It’s your ticket to a drama-free zone where you can heal, grow and thrive.

And as @lalalaletmeexplain says: Block, Delete, Move On!

You can buy her book here if you want to read more on this topic.

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